For the Discerning CrimLawyer: The Badonkadonk

Are you a prosecutor who's worried because the local Jamaadaar has taken an interest in your well being? Are you a defense attorney concerned because your client with a last name that ends in a vowel has just gotten 25 to life after he ordered you to "make this thing go away"? Have I got a solution for you:

The JL421 Badonkadonk
Land Cruiser/Tank

Well, okay, it's really more of an armored personnel carrier than a tank. Still, wouldn't you feel safer driving it back and forth rather than your Toyota Celica? You don't even have to give up your creature comforts; it comes fully equipped with stereo and carpeting.

And it's only $19,999.95. A steal.

You think I'm joking. I'm not (well, maybe a little). Read the customer reviews.